We are used to thinking our happiness depends on external circumstances. We are waiting for something magical to come into our lives and make it bright.
Some of us are waiting for real love. Others — for a great job. A list of our wishes is huge. And it is amazing we have dreams, we make wishes and look for something special to feel our lives with.
However, life happens here and now, and it is wrong to spend it waiting. There is no sense to go through it blindfold, expecting for tomorrow, next week or year we’ll finally find the happiness, the meaning of our life.
It is not going to happen. We simply need to start living. Right now.
There is no magic. It is how our life is created, actually. There are a lot of theories what we were born for and what is the goal of our existence. We could discuss it for years and still there is no guarantee we’ll find the answer. And moreover, there is no guarantee the answer will help.
The best you can do is to let it go and live your life today. With no purpose. But feeling love and happiness. Here is how.
1) Don’t look for happiness — radiate it.
I know, it is hard to radiate joy when you slept bad, or have troubles at work. But look at it differently. Maybe, the reason for your insomnia and troubles is the lack of good thoughts?
We can’t stop wars and cataclysms smiling to strangers, but we can change the atmosphere around us doing it.
Everyone wonders why there are so few smiling faces, why people sometimes are rude and indifferent.
Don’t wonder, reduce the number of such people by changing yourself. Create your own rules and follow them strictly. Fill your mind with positive thoughts and spread them around. Soon your entourage and your perception of outside world will change beyond recognition.
2) Stop trying.
You’ve heard what you’ve heard: stop it. Stop trying too hard to look good. Stop trying to impress someone. Stop pretend you are someone else. It is so exhausting, still — useless.
Let yourself have a rest. This crazy race in quest of better life is a fallacy.
This illusion of the «normal» life the public had put in your mind (and you had thankfully accepted it) leads you to the wrong destination. Besides, it hinders you to enjoy the way.
There were a lot of words and pieces of advice. Now it is time to listen to yourself. And, if you feel it is right, stop. Take a break. Turn back. Or continue doing what you were doing. But this time consciously, realizing it is your life that happens now.
3) Enjoy being alone.
It is the logical continuation of the previous paragraph and the necessary part of being happy in the moment. And it is not scary at all.
Today the solitude isn’t in the trend, so we do our best to avoid it and fill our life with something we don’t need actually. Just not to be alone.
There are tons of articles which tell you how to find your soul mate, how to get married, how to make friends. It forces us to feel bad about being alone.
Don’t get to these tricks.
If we couldn’t be happy alone, being happy with someone else seems to be a daunting task.
Get acquainted with yourself. You are amazing.
4) Stay open-minded.
Paradoxically, but as a rule, being alone helps to keep your mind open.
Diving deep into the own thoughts, exploring own feelings, you realize you don’t actually differ from others much. Despite, we look different, we have different jobs and hobbies, we do have common goals. And it rallies us stronger than anything.
As soon as you understood this, the outside world would not seem hostile. You realize it is your home — ours home — we are all connected and need each other to make this world a happy place for everyone.
5) Be grateful.
Sometimes I look around and see people who are enjoying their troubles. They treat them as they are the most valuable and important things in the world. And if there aren’t any, they feel confused as they miss something they could be whining about.
Are you such person? Don’t be.
Be grateful for those wonderful things you have: food on your table, warm blanket, education, paid work. Rights, abilities, opportunities. Don’t take all these for granted.
Despite politeness, respect, and other good manners should be perceived as usual things, be grateful when people have and express them. It is easy, but it makes a huge difference for you both.
6) Accept yourself.
Being yourself is not the same as accepting yourself. You could force yourself act naturally, and still feel uncomfortable with it, with who you are.
Accept yourself. Radiate love not only among others but among yourself. Let yourself make mistakes, act illogically, be imperfect.
All the things I were writing above don’t mean you need to stay positive permanently. Melancholy, bad mood, and even anger are normal things. They also need to be the part of your life. As the beauty of the life is in its variety.
Just pass it through you, take a deep breath and concentrate on positive.
Happiness is a choice. Just make yours.
Kate Maurice is a freelance copywriter, the creator of online project http://college-writers.com, who is interested in educational problems in modern society and self-improvement techniques. Kate is a typical introvert. You probably find her in a cozy coffee house reading a book or watching people passing by outside.